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I Didn’t Think I’d Find You Here

by Kristen Newman

I can’t even begin to tell you what the last two weeks have been like. To say exhausting would be an understatement. Remember when I said to expect spiritual attacks on a higher scale? Well, the enemy is trying full force with me and my family.

I was on the edge of my black abyss (depression) just looking down into the hole of nothingness. I hadnt felt this depressed in a long time. What is wrong with me?!

In one week, we had 4 sick children; two ear infections, one strep throat, and one blocked tear duct with nasty congestion and cough. To top it off, our German Shepherd, Lincoln, had to have surgery on his paw pad and almost cut it completely off. Talk about a pretty penny.

In the middle of all the chaos, I had many other things I was dealing with. Not getting to see my husband, feeling absolutely drained and burnt out on life, not being the beast of an employee like I always am, and just knowing that I’m staring my black abyss in the eye is enough for me.

I had to stop myself and think the other day – “Have I hit my knees one time during all of this madness?”. My answer was – no. Not ONE TIME have I hit my knees and thanked God for the good things He has blessed me with. Not ONE TIME did I keep my eyes fully focused on Him. Why?

Well, instead of asking myself why, I immediately started doing what I knew I should’ve been doing the entire time – talking to Him, praising Him, and thanking Him.

So here I am today, after 14 days of my black abyss, to share this beautiful reminder with you.

The Lord sees you! He hears you! He has not left your side! Even when you are the one stopping the communication in your relationship with Him, He is still there. He is just waiting for you to welcome Him back in. He has something beautiful planned for your life. He LOVES YOU!

It’s not the news that any of us hoped that we would hear.
It’s not the road we would have chosen, no.
The only thing that we can see is darkness up ahead – but you’re asking us to lay our worry down and sing a song instead.
And I didn’t know I’d find you here, in the middle of my deepest fear, but you were drawing near, you were overwhelming me with peace. So I lift my voice and sing: “You’re gonna carry us through everything!”
You were drawing near, you’re overwhelming all my fears with peace.
You say that I should come to you with everything I need. You’re asking me to thank you even when the pain is deep. You promise that you’ll come and meet us on the road ahead. And no matter what the fear says, you give me a reason to be glad.
Here in the middle of the lonely night, here in the middle of the losing fight, you’re here in the middle of the deep regret, here when the healing hasn’t happened yet. Here in the middle of the desert place, here in the middle when I cannot see your face. Here in the middle with your outstretched arms, you can see my pain and it breaks your heart.
And I didn’t know I’d find you here, in the middle of my deepest fear, but you were drawing near, you were overwhelming me with peace. So I lift my voice and sing: “You’re gonna carry me through everything!” And you were drawing near, you’re overwhelming all my fears with peace.

Ellie Holcomb “Find You Here”

Turning Wounds Into Wisdom,

You Him and Her 💜

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